Plan A Funeral Service

A death in the family is a difficult time without additional stress. That's why it's a good idea to have all your funeral plans in place beforehand. Funeral arrangements can be prepared decades in advance. Even if you know your health is secure and you plan to live many more years, you can plan your own funeral and add directions to your will.

Medical advances can keep people alive and create seeming miracles. But what if you are struck down unexpectedly and cannot communicate your wishes? Today, more people discuss and arrange their "life panel", creating advanced directives and a living will in case of incapacity. Do this, and do it now -- you'll be glad when it's finished and set in place. Each member of the family, even teenagers, should write directives. Planning your funeral service in advance can be done at the same time.

Decide whether you want an actual funeral, with the body present in a coffin or casket, or a memorial service. These services are often termed a Celebration of Life. They do a great deal of good for those you leave behind. They provide closure and consolation. If you want a religious service, the funeral home can work with your church or temple.

Do you want to be buried or cremated? Cremation costs are usually less expensive. There are several different kinds of burials. Whether you want an elegant casket or an environmentally sustainable natural burial, your funeral home is there to let you know what is available and provide all the advice and assistance you require.

If you don't know what you want for your funeral, or have a rough idea and need specifics, the first step is to find a local, reputable full-service funeral parlor. Tell them what you're looking for and ask for price quotes. Most funeral parlors have brochures and a variety of offerings. Funeral directors are happy to explain everything in great detail to be sure everything is exactly as you and your family want it.

When you have every detail worked out and know how much it is going to cost, set aside that amount of money. Make sure it is in a CD or insurance policy. Another option is to pre-pay for your service. For a small administrative fee, the funeral home will take your payment and hold it in a trust. Many funeral homes offer this choice now and it can create peace of mind in the midst of ever-escalating inflation.

Some people know exactly what kind of flowers they want at their funeral. Others are happy with any kind of flowers available, or a particular color. Contact a good local florist, tell them what you are doing, and ask for suggestions. Some florists have free delivery. Be sure to get a full price list. In the money you set aside, be sure to include enough for flower arrangements, as some can be quite costly.

If you choose to have a visitation there should be flowers there as well as at the funeral or memorial service. The florist will show you variously priced arrangements. The types of flowers used will also make a difference in the price. You can specify exactly what arrangements you want and budget accordingly. Or you can just list the kinds of flowers you want and leave the rest up to your family.

If you don't want flowers, write that into your funeral plan and be sure your family knows about it. You can ask that people who want to send flowers should donate the money to your favorite cause or charity.

You can have whatever music pleases you. Choose two or three special pieces. Some people still have musicians come in and play live. You can let your loved ones hear your favorite songs or choose something that sends a message. Even traditional funeral songs can be joyful, especially the ones that describe the next life. Ask your funeral director for examples.

The consolation book is a gift that dates back to Victorian times. Much more than a funeral program, it is a booklet of thoughts and images intended for quiet reflection. Traditional ones had religious quotations, perhaps a short sermon, and stories -- often about meeting again in the next life.

With desktop publishing, it's easier than ever to produce a personal consolation book. You can write your own stories or poems for it or choose ones that you like. Include photographs of yourself at your best, enjoying things you love. It's traditional to have photographs of gardens and natural landscapes. Consolation books are meant to be kept and cherished.

With these directives in mind, your family can be at peace to celebrate your life.